MUSE

---

I’ve noticed it's always harder for someone to talk about themselves rather than talking about somebody else.

People always want to bring everyone else's truths to the forefront before theirs.

Everyone loves to help people confront their conflicts before their own.

Why does everyone love to face other people's fears instead of their own?

---

To all the people that say they “have my back”, do you really?

Would you hold me down to drown me or push me to my peak?

Would you hold me if I need to relieve my pain?

Give me shelter when the rain falls?

Cover my eyes from all my wrongdoings or show me my mess and help me fix it?

Are you as loyal to me as you say you are?

If you are... then for how long?

---

You don’t treat me how you once did.

I feel the sudden shift in your energy, I notice the change.

I’ve become a nuisance.

I must’ve made so many mistakes that you don’t even care if I fail anymore.

I’ve become such a roadblock that you go a different route whenever you’re in need of a friend or simply someone to hang with.

Have I wronged you?

---

Hi ma

Things have changed, I have changed.

Life’s crazy mama, I told the truth and I lost my job.

To make rent I had to lose my ride,

And I did that to stay in a place I don't even feel I can call my home.

I’ve come face to face with adversity and I leaned on my faith and in my desolation, I’ve lost my faith... I’ve lost my faith ma.

-Yours truly

---

It’s cold outside, the hot air is calmly blowing out of the vents but loud enough to hear it, I can smell the alcohol in your breath. You drunkenly tell me all your aspirations in life, your goals, and your current strifes but through it all you see the light at the end of the tunnel. You proceed to rant to me about where I should be in life, about my accomplishments… my potential. Listening to all of this, I should be jumping with joy that you believe in me as much as I would want you to yet I can’t help but to be filled with doubt. As you continue on and on, I wonder to myself if this is truly how you feel or if this is just the alcohol speaking for you?

---

I never trusted a single soul until I met you.

Never have I ever been truly genuine with someone until we encountered one another at 11:55 pm on that one summer night.

I’ve never been so naive until I met you...

Did you ever root for me as I did for you?

Did the sentences I composed for you resonate with you?

Did you have faith in me like I did in you?

Only you can tell me this.

---

2:45 in the morning,

raindrops gradually collide with the glass.

Bags under his eyes, he continues to cope with the agony fully knowing he can't go much longer. He pulls over to the side of the road.

Music smoothly plays over the radio.

As he sits up, he takes a deep breath and wipes his hand across his face trying to understand the consequences of what he’s about to do. He opens the glove compartment and reaches for his brother’s pistol that he carelessly stole. He looks at it mesmerized, then looks at his phone and not one call or text. Not from his girlfriend, his friends nor his mother... no signs of life from anyone.

As he continues to look down at the gun, he prays to God to send him a sign of why he shouldn't pull this trigger… he waits… and waits…

Suddenly he begins to break down and realizes he has nothing to live for anymore.

He sits up and raises the volume on the radio then puts the gun up to his head, he closes his eyes.

---

Editor: Bryan Perdomo, Stephanie Fuentes

Photographer: Khai Fletcher

Photography Director: Vincent Ford

---